Here’s The Truth About Falling Out Of Love – The List
It’s hard to mistake the giddy dizzy happiness of falling in love for anything else. When you meet someone you just can’t get enough of, it seems like the whole world is lit with a rosy glow just for you. If the relationship goes on long enough, things can start to get comfortable, even cozy, if a bit less shiny. But when all the light seems dim, it can be tough to tell if it just needs a bit more fuel or if it’s actually time to just break up.
One of the first signs of falling out of love is when you find yourself disinterested in spending time with your partner. It can be a bit tough to identify this one during the pandemic, because we’re all missing a chance to hang out with people other than the ones we live with. But if you genuinely don’t want to spend time with your partner, it could be a sign that you’re falling out of love. As Jane Greer, Ph.D., a family and marriage therapist based in New York City told Mind Body Green, “It feels burdensome to have to pretend to be enjoying yourself or to go along with spending time together when you don’t really want to. You can’t be your real, authentic self, and so it’s more difficult to be around [them].”
How to tell if the spark is gone
Of course, this extends to the bedroom as well. It’s normal for anyone’s sex drive to fluctuate, and physical intimacy can wax and wane between couples, but per Insider, if the thought of sex with your partner is an actual turn-off, or feels like a burden, that’s a major red flag.
Another sure sign is when thinking about the future with your partner doesn’t feel fun anymore. Dr. Carissa Coulston, a clinical psychologist and the relationship expert told Pure Wow, “When a relationship is going well and romance is strong, a couple plans together and talks about the future. A sign that things are coming to an end is when you stop discussing what might happen one day.” Again, the pandemic complicates things because it can be hard to envision the future at all, but in a healthy relationship, it should feel fun to think about your future together even if the details are unknown.
There’s no reason to feel bad about falling out of love. It’s just as natural as falling in love, and oftentimes there’s no one and nothing to blame when people drift apart. If the relationship still feels important to you, Well + Good advises focusing on what makes you grateful for your partner, tackling personal issues, and finding kinder ways to fight. Relationships are hard work no matter how well or how poorly they’re going, and only you can decide what is worth it.
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