I've fallen in love with a man who doesn't know me – am I a stalker?

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE fallen in love – but he doesn’t know I exist.

I am a 39-year-old woman living in a small town. I first saw this guy in the local newspaper when he won an award as a charity fundraiser.


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I fell for him and love him beyond belief. I know when he goes to work, I’ve also sent him Christmas and birthday cards and post love letters through his door now I’ve found out where he lives. He is 33.

I was just coming away from his house one evening when his mum arrived and said: “Are you the stalker who’s been freaking my son out?”

I ran away and felt so embarrassed. I hadn’t seen myself as a stalker but I realise she’s right. I haven’t been near him since. What can I do to get over my shame?

DEIDRE SAYS: His mum did you a good turn by scaring you off before you got into trouble with the law. Stalking is a crime.

Your behaviour probably stems from unhappiness and low self-esteem.

Don’t just bury these feelings or they are likely to re-emerge. Psychotherapy should help you break the pattern. Ask for a referral from your GP or see psychotherapy.org.uk.

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