Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick Reveal How They’ve Stayed Married So Long
Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick have been married since 1988. Here’s what they revealed about how they’ve managed to stay married so long.
How Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick met
Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick met while filming Lemon Sky. At the time, Sedgwick was in a relationship and Bacon had recently ended a relationship with actress Tracy Pollan. According to Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas’ book, What Makes a Marriage Last, the actors had what’s described as a “little fling.” Although Sedgwick wasn’t expecting their relationship to progress, things began moving forward after Bacon left phone messages for her. They eventually moved in together.
Bacon says he knew Sedgwick was right for him early on. “She was gorgeous and super-independent and the right amount of different from me,” he told Donahue and Thomas.
Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick make their marriage a priority
Bacon tells Donahue and Thomas that he and Sedgwick make sure their relationship remains a priority. They put their marriage first, even after having two children. Here’s what Bacon said about this decision:
Nobody ever told us this—and we didn’t read it in a book—but I think we felt it was more important for the kids that our thing stayed good. I always knew that I was going to [mess] up as a parent somewhere along the way, because everybody does.
Anyone can sit on the couch in a therapist’s office and think of the ways their mommy and daddy damaged them. I don’t think there’s any way around that. I’m going to be told that I worked too hard or wasn’t there enough or was too judgmental, but the one thing I always remembered was that if we could stay good, that would be a good message for [our children].
They keep things spicy
Another thing the couple does is maintain an active sex life. Bacon tells Donahue and Thomas he and Sedgwick don’t like to discuss their personal lives, but they will share their simple formula for achieving harmony at home.
From the beginning, we had very specific rules about what we would talk about in public or on a red carpet. And one of those rules was that we didn’t do interviews together or try to cash in on our Kyra-and-Kev cute thing. I don’t even really like reading articles about actors.
So often you see these idyllic couples on the cover of People magazine, and six months later they’re divorced. So, whenever people asked us how we’ve stayed married, I started saying, ‘Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.’ I felt like that would just end the conversation.
They give each other space to grow
Although Bacon and Sedgwick love each other and enjoy spending time together, they are also aware that people change. Sedgwick says it’s important to allow your partner to have space to grow. “The person you marry is not necessarily going to be the same during the whole trajectory of the marriage,” said Sedgwick. “Let each other grow. Let each other change. If you don’t, that’s when trouble happens.”
They look for solutions instead of prolonging arguments
Bacon and Thomas say they don’t like to fight. Instead they look for solutions. “We fight very rarely,” Sedgwick tells Donahue and Thomas. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think, ‘Is that bad?’ But honestly, we don’t like to fight, so when we actually are in an argument, we’re both looking for a solution. For the most part we’re struggling to get back to everything being OK, because it sucks to fight.”
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