Lockdown has made me dread visits from my two teenage step-daughters
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE never found my step-children particularly easy to live with but this latest lockdown has really made me dread their visits.
My husband has three children and two are still under 16.
These two are both teenage girls and I am worried they will flout lockdown rules and put my health in danger, like they did during the last two lockdowns.
They have access visits every other weekend and stay in our home. The problem is they are just like their mum — all hair, lashes and nails.
So even now hair salons and beauty salons are closed, I know they turn up with fresh cuts, colours and new nails, just like they always have done.
They also talk quite openly about hanging out with their friends inside their homes even though they are not supposed to.
I’m 50 and my husband, a plumber, is 52.
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We’ve been married for nine years. I know his girls are really missing their friends and have struggled with all the upheaval over the last year but I can’t have them flaunting rules and then coming into my home.
My husband doesn’t like confrontation with his ex and always leaves it up to me to deal with any issues.
So far his ex and I have managed to stay civil but only just, and I know this will cause problems. I had a big operation a year ago and I’m also a diabetic, so I’m really scared they could be risking my health.
I know my husband really misses his children and would like to see them even more.
So I don’t want to be the one who comes between him and them. What can I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: As you are post-op and a diabetic, you do need to take care to protect yourself, especially with the new variant of coronavirus, which is far more infectious.
Pick a moment to talk to your husband and explain your fears.
Ask him to talk to his ex and explain the situation. She may not be aware of your health issues.
He needs to warn her that if their children were to get an illegal haircut, meaning they’ve broken lockdown restrictions, then he will have no option but to stop seeing them.
After all, none of them would forgive themselves if you, or others, were to get ill as a result of their recklessness.
It may be that your husband will have to organise other ways of seeing his children.
Perhaps he can meet them at his ex’s or see them outdoors.
My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, will help.
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