Long-distance lover is 23 years younger than me and wants me to send her money
DEAR DEIDRE: MY long-distance girlfriend has started to ask me for money and I’m not sure whether I should send some now or wait until I can see her again.
She is gorgeous and a bit younger than me at 31 — I’m 54 — but we really hit it off and I have every confidence we are right together. There’s just one thing — her requests for funds.
My friends and family have warned me that I’m being used, but they haven’t met her nor seen how genuine she is.
She has given me a new lease of life and I’d even consider having children with her.
She already has one daughter, aged seven, and she would love more.
We have been together for two years and if it hadn’t been for this pandemic we would already be living together in Thailand.
I’ve got nothing to lose as I divorced my wife four years ago and my daughters are grown up.
My girlfriend and I first met through Facebook. We message and video call every day.
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After six months I went to Thailand and had a magical holiday with her.
I was in a self-catered apartment and she cooked delicious meals for me.
Her ex-husband had treated her badly so she wanted to take things slowly on the physical side.
We have kissed and had some intimate moments but haven’t had full sex yet.
Since then we haven’t been able to visit each other although I am planning to go over as soon as restrictions are lifted.
She’s told me she wants to have sex with me when I return.
But in the last month she’s asked me twice for £300. She says it is to secure a really good apartment for my next trip.
She says that if she pays she’ll get a much better rate than the tourist rate I would get.
I’m not sure it’s wise to pay now because travel is so up in the air at the moment.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You are right to be cautious when it comes to sending money abroad to someone you have only met once.
You will not want to hear this but your friends and family are looking out for you.
If this woman is genuinely interested in a relationship, she will be happy to wait and won’t keep asking for your money.
Take it slowly and make sure you have a genuine relationship before you invest money in someone who you barely know.
There are plenty of scammers who target single people.
Please have a look at the police guidance around these types of scams – even if simply to eliminate it.
There’s good advice from Thames Valley Police at bit.ly/3yTvFbX.
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