My girlfriend's secret dating profile says she sleeps around

DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend’s secret dating profile made her sound like she was a sex worker who is into anything and everything – but this isn’t the person I know and love.

She lives in France and we met when we were on a student exchange six years ago. We are both now 27.

I have a job here in the UK but she wanted to explore career opportunities locally, so we decided to have a break.


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That was a year ago and then the pandemic hit so I didn’t have any chances to see her.

One night in lockdown, I was bored and logged on to her email which I had helped her set up.

I know it was wrong and regretted it as I found she had set up a profile on a dating site. I was horrified with what I saw.

She said she was up for “any type of sex”, boasted about “sex with over 50 guys” and said she was into bondage and swinging.

She also had a photograph of herself in a latex bodice which left nothing to the imagination. And I didn’t recognise the wanton look in her eyes.

When we were together, she mentioned just four previous sexual partners and we had a good sex life. We always climaxed and tried lots of different positions but we certainly didn’t ever get into bondage or swinging.

I can’t stop thinking about her, or get the image of her out of my head. This isn’t the girl I know.

She made contact again recently, saying she’d like us to be together again. I love her and I’ve always been respectful towards her.

She knows every detail of my rather pathetic sexual past of three ex-girlfriends.

I’d like her to open up to me now but how can I get her to be truthful without her finding out that I’ve accessed her email account?

DEIDRE SAYS: You can’t, but why is it important? She may have been liberal with the truth to get more attention.

The photo is one thing – but whether she has had lots of one-night stands doesn’t add up to the girl you know.

She has realised that her profile isn’t who she is and she would prefer to be with you.

We all have a past and even if she has slept around, so what? It’s made her who she is and that is the person who loves you and wants to make a go of your relationship after your break.

Give her some respect by allowing her privacy on whatever device. Snooping will fuel any insecurities and turn your relationship toxic.

Welcome her back and invest in a happy future together.

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