My wife of twenty years left me for another woman 'to be true to herself'

DEAR DEIDRE:  OUT of the blue my wife left me for another woman when lockdown started. She said she had to be true to herself.

She always said I was her only love. She is 41, I’m 43 and her new partner is 38.

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We married young and have a grown-up son who is as shocked as I am.

Like any couple we had normal ups and downs, but more ups than downs. I love her with all my heart and it’s destroying me. I tried to be sensible and she did send me short texts at first. I told her the door is always open but now she says I’m not to contact her at all.

Her last text said I was not to threaten her or her partner but I would never hurt her. I don’t know what’s going on.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife is the only person who can really explain to you but she sounds very unwilling right now – she’s probably going through a crisis of her own.

Maybe she suppressed gay feelings for years but she has ripped up her own life as well as yours.

Give her space for now and try making friendly and non-demanding contact again in, say, three months. You can find support via

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