Woman shares 'bonkers' demands for Scientologist family's nanny
Woman who applied to be a nanny for Scientologists reveals their ‘bonkers’ demands, including that the kids NEVER be unhappy, and that she ‘magically turn into a cleaning Nazi’ during naptime
- Los Angeles-based actress Hollis Jane Andrews said she interviewed for the $13/hour ‘Magical Nanny/Housekeeper’ position in 2013
- The parents demanded the nanny use Scientology practices to calm their two sons and make sure there is no noise in the house
- The detailed schedule included directions, some down to 15-minute increments, for meals, bath time, brushing teeth, and play activities
- The nanny was instructed to make sure kids ‘don’t stop them running ever’ and get them to throw rocks
- She also must never use her phone or let them watch movies, and should make sure the kids are always laughing and happy
- During their 45-minute nap, she must ‘magically transform into a cleaning nazi’ and clean the kitchen, living room, bathroom, and bedrooms
A very detailed and demanding job description for a nanny to a Los Angeles-based Scientologist family has shocked and appalled Twitter users, who are calling the unidentified parents ‘psychotic,’ ‘insane,’ and ‘horrible’ for their outlandish rules and expectations.
Actress Hollis Jane Andrews shared photos of the job description on Twitter last week, saying that she interviewed for the ‘Magical Nanny/Housekeeper’ position in 2013 — but immediately rejected it upon reading the list of duties for which she’d be paid just $13 an hour.
The two-page job description demands that the nanny stick to a very precise schedule with the two children, make sure they make no noise in the house, constantly keep them running and playing, and never let them stop laughing — because ‘If they are not laughing, they are not happy.’
In addition to teaching the kids to swim, bathing them, and eating meals with them, the nanny must also keep busy after they go down for a nap — which is when she is expected to ‘magically transform into a cleaning nazi’ and clean the entire house in 45 minutes.
For real? A very detailed and demanding job description for a nanny to a Los Angeles-based Scientologist family has shocked and appalled Twitter users
Not her! Actress Hollis Jane Andrews shared the job description, saying she interviewed for the gig in 2013 but ran in the other direction when she read the word ‘dianetics’
‘In 2013, I interviewed with an (unbeknownst to me at the time) Scientologist family to be their nanny,’ Hollis wrote on Twitter. ‘They gave this absolutely BONKERS list of responsibilities and now I give it to all of you.’
She included two photos of the ‘Hat Write up,’ which is Scientology speak for a job description.
‘Purpose:’ the job description begins. ‘To keep boys well fed/well slept and house in order to provide sanity for parents!’
‘Both the boys are to be treated with love, care and understanding at all times,’ it reads. ‘The main focus is to ensure their basic body rudiments (sleep, food, water) are kept in, so that they are not crying/upsetting the rest of the house.
‘Both of us work and whilst we do our jobs no matter what, it is best done distraction free. This means if I am training I don’t want to hear crying or tantrums or headbutting. If the boys are at all noisy, take them OUT of the house.’
In addition to demanding a silent home, the parents also expect their nanny to ensure that that the children are never unhappy, even for a moment.
They also list the application of Dianetics — Scientology practices — as a requirement for dealing with the kids.
‘If they hurt themselves, keep quiet, apply Dianetics & assist tech always,’ the parent who penned the description wrote.
‘I want you to focus on keeping them laughing/playing and chase them around. I want the boys active and not just shoved in front of a movie. Play with them. There is to be NO movies, whilst under your care, please turn your phone OFF whilst at work.’
The job description then included an incredibly detailed schedule for the nanny and her charges to follow.
They are to eat eggs and turkey bacon for breakfast between 7:30 and 8 a.m., then get dressed and ready for play from 8:30 to 9.
‘Teach Dash and Max how to brush his teeth, let him try and them give him a quick brush without paste until he can learn how to spit,’ the paper reads.
From 9 to 11, she is instructed to ‘take them for a run around Wornom Drive. get them to run, throw rocks and RUN with them, don’t stop them running ever.
‘There are horses about 30 mins walk away up Sunland, get them to feed horses apples, etc, play.
‘OR take them to a park and play WITH them, make sure you act like a kid with them, never serious, keep them in games. If they are not laughing, they are not happy. We have balls, trucks, etc. Take toys with you.
Yikes! Hollis said she didn’t know that the family were Scientologists until the interview, but that’s what made her run
‘If they are crying and yelling, they are not happy and as a nanny you need to get them back happy again,’ the schedule continues.
Snack time is at 11 a.m., and the children can be fed nuts, bananas, strawberries, and Cheerios on a plate ‘OUTSIDE on the red table.’
Next, from 11:30 to 12 p.m., it’s pool time — and, unsurprisingly, there are more strict requirements.
In all caps, the parent wrote: ‘You need to be in the pool with them at all times! Shut the gate and have fun with them.’
The nanny is instructed to ‘teach them to swim’ and keep floaties on the children at all time.
‘Never let them out of your site,’ the family wrote, misspelling ‘sight.’
At noon, the children are to be put in a bath and have their hair washed and teeth brushed. This is all to be done within 15 minutes, because at 12:15, it’s time for lunch — which consists of meatballs or steak with ketchup, paired with ‘salad or cut up some cucumber, make it look healthy and exciting.’
‘Encourage them to eat. Each lunch WITH them at this time,’ the parent instructs.
Nap time is from 12:45 to 1:30, and the nanny is told to ‘put them to sleep with a protein bottle’ made up of protein powder and water.
Tickled: Readers have picked out their favorite parts of the ‘insane’ job description
‘They can sleep on couch or in their bed, wherever they are comfortable. If it is hot, put AC on and make sure they are not overheating.’
While the list of requirements was demanding and bizarre up until this point, this is where the instructions really take a turn
In bold, the parent wrote: ‘Whilst they are asleep you magically transform into a cleaning nazi.’
The list of cleaning jobs includes emptying everything from the pram, putting all the toys away, and hunting around the house for every bottle to clean and dry.
The nanny is also expected to clean up food bowls, unload the dishwasher, rinse plates and cutlery before putting them in the dishwasher, clean the kitchen ‘so it looks shiny, shiny clean,’ and sweep the kitchen floor.
They must also vacuum in the living room, fold blankets, tidy the children’s rooms, tidy the bathroom, ’empty out the stinking poo poo bin’ and put fresh liner in, and put a load of clothes in the washing machine.
‘If you finish all this, look around and find anything else that could help things flow in this household better!’ the parent continues.
‘If you can master all of this, then we have a happy house,’ it goes on, before concluding in bold, all-caps print that phones are not allowed during work hours and the nanny must be ‘fit’ for the boys.’
Horrified: Her tweet has gone viral, earning nearly 30,000 likes and plenty of horrified comments from the likes of Kathy Griffin and Rob Delaney
While Hollis didn’t share more details about Dash and Max’s parents, she did clarify that she didn’t take the job.
‘In case it wasn’t clear, I did NOT take the job the minute I saw the word “dianetics,”‘ she wrote.
Her tweet has gone viral, earning nearly 30,000 likes and plenty of horrified comments from the likes of Kathy Griffin and Rob Delaney.
‘There’s a lot here but magically transforming into a cleaning Nazi really took the cake. I want to talk to whoever actually took this job and how long they lasted,’ wrote one reader.
‘I hate this entire family, kids included. And it’s sight, not “site” – copy edit your insane demands at LEAST,’ wrote another.
‘The “NEVER LET THEM BE UNHAPPY” tone is putting me in a panic for their kids, who now are grown and probably addicted to unhealthy things because they were never allowed to have the sads,’ tweeted a third.
Another wrote: ‘My fav is the list of jobs to be done within 45 min. And if you somehow finish, they want you to invent work. Insane.
‘If I’m on the jury for when those kids kill their parents, no way I’m voting to convict,’ one more chimed in.
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