You’ve been kissing the wrong way this whole time
There’s nothing quite like ending a great date with a toe-curling kiss. It’s not only romantic and exciting, but it hopefully leads to more kissing. Sadly, not all lip locks are created equal, and even a 50 Shades level of attraction between two people can’t help if one of the smoochers has dragon breath or their only move is a tongue jackhammer (via Insider).
Face it, we’ve all been there. A disappointing kiss can leave you with more than just a bad taste in your mouth, quite literally. It can leave you wondering with whom the fault lies? The best way to secure your status as a good kisser, however, is to hone your craft. That means not only practicing, but researching what indeed makes a kiss bad, and not doing those things. It could very well be you’ve been kissing wrong this whole time, and if it’s not you, this is a great refresher to help you school your partner on what not to do. The goal is to go from pucker up to playroom not smooch fest to swipe left.
These are the most common kissing mistakes you’re definitely going to want to avoid during your next make-out session.
Avoid kissing with too much tongue
It seems to be a scientific fact for guys that the wetter the kiss, the better. That’s how men’s brains are hardwired. According to Psychology Today, male saliva contains testosterone, and since testosterone is linked to arousal the goal is to get as much of it into his partner’s mouth as possible to increase desire. Too bad it doesn’t usually work that way. What it actually does is make his partner want to pull back and wipe their face off (via Insider).
The same can be said for the famous jackhammer tongue. A super-wet kiss that mimics sex does not have the same effect on women as is does on men. Men are visual creatures and, as Dr. Noam Shpancer, a professor of psychology at Otterbein University, noted, “The combination of a moist open mouth and a penetrating tongue simulate intercourse quite distinctly, and give easy rise to sexual imagining and, perhaps, sexual excitement” (via Psychology Today). However, the other person may not want to worry about having their molars flossed directly after a dinner date. Instead, always start without tongue, less is more when it comes to wetness, and take your time (via Marie Claire).
Stay in the moment when you're kissing
Kissing is only good if you are both sharing the moment together. You should not be simply going through the motions in an effort to end the night or get things hot and heavy. Kissing is a way to share our feelings without saying a word, and if you’re drifting off, you’re not hearing the messages of trust and arousal your partner is sending (via Psychology Today).
In an interview with Live Science, Susan Hughes, a psychologist at Albright College explained, “Women tend to use kissing to create a bond with their partners, and to assess them as potential mates. Meanwhile, men use kissing as a means to an end.” In both cases, you’re not focusing on the moment, you’re focusing on what it means. For both sexes, not focusing on the kiss means not creating a connection that can lead to what you ultimately want, so you need to stay in the moment (via Marie Claire).
Focus on more than just the lips when you kiss
Focusing solely on the lips means you are missing out on so many aspects of a hot-and-heavy make-out. Even just a simple touch of the lips behind the ear or on the neck sparks new feelings and experiences for your partner. Keeping your partner on his or her toes is a good thing, and when you’ve been together for a while, it’s essential to incorporate new styles of kissing and seduction (via Insider).
Sex and relationship expert Psalm Isadora explained to Bustle, “Don’t forget that the whole body is erotic, and you can try kissing, sucking, biting and licking their whole body, especially erogenous zones.” She goes on to explain, “Kissing is an art, not a science, and everyone likes something different. There are over 30 types of kisses described in the Kama Sutra … the most important thing in kissing is paying attention to your partner’s body language and arousal.”
Maybe being a good kisser is really about finding the right partner. Because at the end of the day, or date, as long as your breath is fresh, and you’re willing to please the person you’re with, there’s absolutely no reason you can’t each become great kissers for each other.
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